I thought I would do a post on what it is like to live with Borderline Personality Disorder in my own words!
Living with BPD is like living in a daily nightmare because you never know what emotion you are going to feel or how long you will feel that emotion for it could be 5 mins to 5 days but generally it is a lot quicker than that but every sufferer is different!
I will give you an example of the extremes of my mood. I can go from being super happy/ manic to being extremely depressed and suicidal in the space of 10 minutes and that is without a trigger.
With a trigger that is a totally different story because if I am triggered by anything it can be something small to others but to me it can effect my mood for days.
It’s not just being super happy or extremely depressed it makes me feel all emotions in extremes so I don’t just feel scared I am petrified, I don’t just feel annoyed I feel furious and that feeling of not having control over my emotions is not just scary but it is exhausting.
Yes I do take medication.. strong medication but they aren’t magic pills that makes it all disappear they just make it more bearable so when I am on a high or a low I don’t harm myself or others.
Another thing with BPD that a lot of people don’t know is we become very attached to people very quickly and very dependent on them but also feel exterme guilt for being in their life. We also push the people we care for most as we don’t want them to get hurt or disappoint them.
What I find the hardest about living with BPD is that it is so hard to explain what and why we are feeling the way we are in that moment but to us that feeling is justified to others they may find it frustrating or uncalled for but to us it isn’t.
What is also hard is that other people don’t understand even when they try to because we can’t explain it but all we want is for people to just be patient, forgiving and as understanding as they can with us.
I know it’s hard be we cant help the way we feel so just accept us and the emotion we are feeling in that moment.
Thats all I ask for.
Thanks for reading Hopefully this has helped you all get some understanding of BPD.