My dream job!….?

Hi again everyone!

I have been thinking about this post all day and I can honestly say I have No idea what my dream job would be.. I really dont.

You’re probably all thinking well why did she write a post on this when she dosen’t know the answer to her own question. Am I right?

The reason I wrote this post is because I used to have big dreams I used to know exactly what I wanted to do or be and now I have no idea!

The reason I have no idea is probably because I don’t see a future, I dont, I cant all I see when I look to the future is darkness and the reason for this darkness is my mental illness.

I used to want to be and was a nursery nurse then a nanny but I did that and I did it well until I went to America to Nanny and it all went wrong, I became severely ill with my mental health, I wasn’t eating, i wasn’t comfortable around the family mainly the dad of the twins, so I came home after 3 months. I was supposed to stay a year but I couldn’t.. I failed.

I went back to my old job at home as a nursery nurse thinking it would all get better… it didn’t it just got worse! Alot worse! So once again I quit this time under medical advice but still I failed again!

So after being of work for a while I tried to set up my on little buisness drawing peoples pets and printing them on bags, tshirts, cushions etc but once again I couldn’t handle that and my mental health to got worse and worse!

I then thought about doing photography did an online course thought about getting some practise taking peoples photo’s. what stopped me? My crippling anxiety, my borderline personality disorder and my self hatred!That is what stopped me.

So it’s not like I never had dreams or never tried to achieve them I just failed at them all but don’t think I have never worked as before my mental illness took over my life I used to work my arse off from the age of about 14 working minimum wage jobs maybe even less than minimum wage so I had some money.

I come from a hard working family so for me to not be able to work makes me feel like the biggest failure in the world. I don’t not work through choice I don’t work because I physically can’t!!

So the answer to my own question is I honestly don’t know.. maybe I should just become a princess and live in Disney World in a big giant castle so I can be happy all the time!.. yeh I know realistic right?

I gave up on my dreams a long time ago but that dosen’t mean you should give up on yours!

So I want to know what your dream jobs are? Comment below so I can see all your amazing dreams that hopefully become reality for you all!

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