Trying to think of five memories when I was extremely happy is very difficult for me but I am going to try do it as I am currently in a dark place as I said yesterday but I thought trying to think of happy times may help a little.
1. When Lee proposed . I don’t think anything could beat that moment it was just perfect. He planned everything and it was everything and actually more than than I could have imagined… I may have looked like a homeless person in the photos but I honestly felt like a princess in that moment. I can’t wait to marry my best friend in December.
2. When we told my Grandad we was having a baby! It was actually kind of funny because instead of congratulating us he said something like good job and shook lee’s hand which kind of shocked me but also really amused me but he was so happy for us and really excited but no matter how many times I tried to get him to feel Milly kick he wouldn’t because he was so scared he was going to hurt her but the was just my Grandad for you… bless him.. I miss him so much!!
3. When I moved in with Lee Although mentally I was going through hell moving into lee’s tiny 1 bedroom house that he had made me so happy at the time and adding all my little touches to the house which some of the things I don’t know if he actually liked but it made me happy so he just rolled with it and that hasn’t really changed. All Lee wants me to be is happy and I know you can’t buy happiness but sometimes it’s all I feel I have control over in life so I buy things.
4. When I finally felt a bond with Milly I don’t know exactly when it was but I know it was just before her 1st Birthday and it was a feeling I will never forget because she actually wanted me over anybody else that specific day and from then on our bond just grew and now it is literally unbreakable but like I always say it wasn’t easy.
5. Booking our wedding date. I mean I know it was only the other day and I’m not exactly sure it would be classed as a memory but it’s all I can think of so it will have to be on my list 🤣
I know you probably all expected having Milly to be on my list but I wasn’t happy then because I was so mentally ill at the time I couldn’t even deal with the fact I had had a baby but now that is totally different I’m the exact opposite I’m so protective of her now and I would hurt anyone who hurt her.
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Love to you all