Time to talk … Development

When I say Development I don’t mean my development because I haven’t done much developing recently 🤣 (just realised how that sounds) but I’m actually talking about child development.

So as you all know Milly started playgroup over 7 weeks ago now I think and we have her review tommorow don’t ask me why because I have no idea but I will inform you later.

So they have this app called tapestry where they put on pictures and like what age their development is for different activities.. basically it is an online key worker book which I do like having access to it but I don’t like how low she is coming in for certain things that I know she can do.

She is really shy at playgroup so she dosen’t really speak so they have put her development age for language at 8- 10 months originally it has gone up a bit now I think it is like 16-20 months that might not be totally right but I know it’s low and I think they expect me to be worried but I’m really not because the Milly that turns up to playgroup is not the Milly we see at home.

Her physical development is only a few months lower than her age but this still dosen’t bother me as she has reached every other milestone that she had to, yes maybe later than “expected” but she still mastered it at somepoint in her three years of life.

I hate development charts and the expected age that a child should be doing something because I just feel it constantly puts pressure on not only the parent but the child too!

It’s like your baby is born and within one month they are expected to smile! I mean they might not feel like smiling they maybe a miserable baby. I don’t think milly smiled properly until she was about 3 months old unless she had wind obviously!

Then between 3 and 6 months they should be rolling over Milly hated being on her tummy and she was tiny so she didn’t have the weight behind her to roll over until around maybe 8 months. I know she was later than “expected”

At between 6 and 9 months they are expected to start sitting! Milly was what people would class as late to sit up as she didn’t sit up securely until she was a good 10 – 11 months but that was because her bum wasn’t big enough until she was nearly 12 months old. I think she only weighed just over 10lb on her 1st birthday so her balance wasn’t right until then as her head weighed more than her body ( she didn’t have a big head just a tiny body)

9 to 12 months Now they “should” be crawling! Milly didn’t start to do the what we called the army crawl as instead of crawling she would use 1 arm and one leg to like slide across the floor but that wasn’t until she was around 16 months old.

(I can’t remember exactly when she hit her milestones as I was really struggling with postnatal depression at the time so I missed a lot of her development in her 1st year)

12- 18 months they should now be standing (unaided) I’m not going to lie Milly was closer to 24 months when she stood unaided but we knew it would come and we was asked constantly why isn’t she walking and we just replied she will when she is ready and that’s how we have always treated Milly’s development.

Then at 18- 24 months they are supposed to be walking once again Milly was over this time frame I’m not exactly certain when she confidently started walking but I think she was roughly 28 months maybe a little older but again we was questioned about her not walking yet and we just said she will get there.

Then between 2 and 3 they now should be talking. Milly is 3 years and 3 months and yes her speach may not be as good as others but it may be better than some I don’t know but what I do know is we do everything to support and encourage her to speak. We repeat words after her so she knows how to say them, we ask her questions and we talk to her constantly and I know at some point within the next few months she will be talking much clearer and if not we will just keep doing what we are doing and it will come like it has with every other stage.

My point with this tho is ages and stages don’t really work as it tries to put certain children, who are a certain age into certain boxes and if they don’t they are behind and if they do they are ahead but in my eyes they aren’t behind or ahead they are just where they need to be at that stage.

But because it may not be wherw the chart says they should be the child is then put in a separate box and that box could be where they end up staying if you aren’t careful as some parents will right there kids off and call them names just because they aren’t hitting the markers that society expects and then not only that kid writes it’s self off but for it’s whole life it get written off aswell. As a former nursery nurse I can tell you this happens.

So I honestly think that the development charts should be scrapped I mean surely people have the commen sence to know the difference between my child is really struggling to do this and my child just isn’t ready but if people do have concerns about their child or you just need to put your mind at rest definitely speak to someone.

What I’m trying to say is your child will reach those milestones at some point and whenever that is just celebrate with them and enjoy that milestone don’t feel like they have done that one we best start working on this now.

Just relax and enjoy your baby seriously I would do anything to go back in time to when Milly was born and not be ill so I could celebrate all those firsts but I can’t so any little achievement she makes now we celebrate and by doing that it gives Milly the confidence to try something else.

What we do isn’t right for everyone or anyone else but it works for us so that is what we do but like I said every single child in this world is different and they learn differently and at different paces but that’s amazing when you think about it because how boring would this world be if we was all the same? Am I right?

That’s all I have for now! It’s a long one but I hope you enjoyed reading this post! Don’t forget to subscribe 😘

Love to you all

H

💋💋

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