I don't know what's going on or why I am feeling this way but if it gets any worse I'm going to just breakdown... again..! My anxiety is through the roof, my depression is at an all time low, my BPD is more unstable than ever, my self esteem is non existent and I'm just … Continue reading I’m at an all time low..
This time it's not a person but a house! I know how strange that sounds but this house has had so much happen in it that it's so hard to leave it behind. I'm not talking about our house I couldn't give a shit about leaving this house behind but my Grandma and Grandad's house … Continue reading Saying goodbye!!..again!
I know that some people will find that title difficult to read but it's the truth! I have felt like this for such a long time and everyday the feelings and thoughts get stronger and stronger. They are so strong I can't ignore them anymore I can't push them away anymore the thoughts are constantly … Continue reading I don’t want to be alive anymore!
So we finally have a date to move into our new home and it is in less than a month and we can't wait!! This house has taken a toll on both mine and Lee's mental health as there are so many problems with it including mould that we have reported and that our landlord … Continue reading Our Big move 2019
So as you all know I am currently diagnosed with having borderline personality disorder along with other mental health problems but this diagnosis confuses me as BPD is commonly caused by trauma from childhood but I don't remember anything traumatic really happening in my childhood. I can understand why I have this diagnosis in a … Continue reading Why my diagnosis confuses me
I want to start by making it clear that I am not saying that you all see the world one way and I see it the other as of course there is a grey area but that grey area doesn't exist in my life. My life is either black or white and there is nothing … Continue reading How I see the world compared to you!
In the past three or four weeks I have really noticed a big change in my moods, not in the intensity that hasn't changed but the length of how long they are lasting so my moods used to change like every few hours now they are lasting weeks at a time and I can't deal … Continue reading My moods are Changing… for the worst
Well yesterday I couldn't have been happier and today I couldn't feel more depressed why? I hear you asking, what has changed? And my answer to those questions is nothing absolutely nothing has changed from yesterday to today apart from my mood. Yesterday I felt ontop of the world, I fel invisible, I felt loved, … Continue reading How do I feel in this moment?
So we have been away for the past two weeks to Disney World and then yesterday was my beautiful daughter's 3rd birthday and if I am being honest which I always am I didn't think I was going to see it to be honest I didn't think I was going to see her reach 6 … Continue reading My baby girl is three! 10/01/19
As you all know... well if you follow my blog or my social media accounts you will know that my Grandma passed away recently and her funeral was last Wednesday and since then my mental health has deteriorated massively. Yes! I do understand that grief does that but this is another level of deterioration I … Continue reading How do I feel at the moment?